Student: "You know, teachers are actually robots programmed by the government."
Student: "Oh yeah. And your vocal chords aren't real - they're voice boxes programed by the government. So when you speak it's really a government agent."
Me: "You don't say."
Student: "And your eyes aren't really just eyes - they're actually cameras recording our every move."
Student: "You're actually here to train children to become robots as well."
Clearly, I know why I became a teacher. I was programed that way.