Student: (Had to go to the nurse because he told us he was starving to death) "I feel as though we should be allowed to eat when we want. We are being held down and forced to eat when you say we should!"
Student: "Miss R, I'm dying and I need to go to the bathroom."
Me: "In my room, you have to sign out before you go."
Student: "Sign out!? But I'm dying here!"
Me: "Well, then you don't need to go to the bathroom. Dead people don't pee."
Student: "Wait, what?"
Student: "I have anger management issues."
Me: "What does that have to do with your vocabulary cards?"
Student: "Well, that's why I'm here! I have to stay in because I have anger management issues."
Me: "You have to stay in because you don't do your homework!"